From "The Reincarnation of Annie Brown I had come to the cemetery countless times, desperate not only to talk to Annie but of greater importance, to hear her speak and offer me some form of absolution for my failure to protect her. I wanted her to forgive my inability to change history. Most of all, I just wanted to know she was alright. In my past visits to the cemetery, the only words Annie spoke were the ones that came from my mind, but this one Sunday was to be different from all others.
From "Emily's Last Obsession" She replied with some excitement in her voice. “I cheat on my husband and then go to church and ask God to forgive me. I assume He does forgive me because a bolt of lightning hasn’t struck me. Then, I go home thinking all is well with the world because God has let me off the hook. If God has given me a get out of hell free card, and my husband is subordinate to God, then ,my husband’s forgiveness becomes almost irrelevant. John had a slight smile as he thought about her statement. “John Coltrane said we know the truth that lives in our hearts. What he didn’t say, was that we don’t do a very good job of dealing with that truth.” Karen continued her thoughts. “It doesn’t matter what truth lies in your heart. I understand now why the system fails. I come here, you watch me strip, you put your hands all over me, I climb all over you, and then, we have sex like bunny rabbits. Now I have two things to deal with, one of which is guilt and the other is the need for forgiveness."
From Nine Days in October She stopped her decent when Peter started to speak. “Last Saturday when Chloe and I came here, she was convinced this house was haunted. She also told me that if I saw a woman in a long white gown coming down the staircase, I should take off running.” “Apparently you have decided to ignore her advice. Aren’t you afraid?” Katie asked, as she held on to the railing with her right hand. Peter shook his head. “Maybe I should be, but you look absolutely beautiful.” Katie came down two more steps before stopping once again. “There is nothing in the rule book that says ghosts have to be horrible and scary looking.” Peter looked away for a moment as he considered her point. “No, I don’t suppose there are any rules about appearance. Come to think of it, the hippie ghost girl was very attractive, but then again, why wouldn’t she be pretty. After all, I was told she was a computer image modeled after you.” Katie’s expression turned into a sly grin. “How do you know she’s not a real ghost? Maybe she is far more than just a computer image. Maybe I’m the hippie ghost girl.” Peter looked down at the stairs and then back at Katie. “If you are the hippie ghost girl, then I would be willing to bet you have a very interesting story to tell.” Katie continued down the stairs until she was standing in front of Peter. “I think you would be amazed with the stories she could tell you.” Peter put his arms around her waist as she draped her arms over his shoulders. “I have never held a ghost in my arms before, but you feel real to me.” After a long and rather passionate kiss, Katie looked at Peter and smiled. “It makes no difference if I am a woman or a ghost. You’re still in love with me and you know it.”
Michelle and Scott met for the first time when they were in the seventh grade. When they met, she was not a full-blown ‘tomboy’ but she certainly had some of those tendencies, or at least Scott thought she did. During the late summer before beginning seventh grade, the school held tryouts for the male students who wanted to play baseball. Scott and many of his male friends came at the appointed time in hopes of making the team. Much to his shock, Michelle showed up to try out for the team. Apparently, Michelle was also the first girl ever to show up at Westover Junior High for baseball tryouts and the coach obviously had no idea how to handle the situation. Scott was standing at home plate, putting on the catchers gear when one of his friends poked him in the ribs. His friend was determined for Scott to see Michelle walking toward the dugout where most of the team hopefuls had gathered. Just like most seventh-grade boys, they were interested in baseball and girls. Like most of his friends, Scott was not especially knowledgeable about either. They quickly reached the conclusion she was lost as she made her way down the third-base line. The coach stood in front of the dugout reading the list of names who had signed up to play. Michelle showed no sign of hesitation as she walked up and stood beside the coach. He looked up from his clipboard and pointed toward the school building. “Cheerleading tryouts are in the gym.” Michelle’s voice was quiet, but persistent. “I came to try out for baseball, not cheerleading. After a few moments, he again turned his attention to her. “Girl’s softball tryouts are next Tuesday. Jones, you are on first, Franklin you are on second, Casten is at third, and McDaniel is at short.” Michelle cleared her throat and replied, “I came to play baseball, not softball.” At this point, the coach turned at looked at Michelle, expressing his displeasure without saying a word. He called out before he turned away, “Peter, take the mound." With that said, he walked over to the bleachers to hold what Scott assumed was a consultation with another teacher. They looked back at Michelle several times, as they continued to talk. By the time the coach had finished his conversation, the boys in the dugout were making every disparaging girl playing baseball joke they could think of. Scott had left the plate and was walking down the first-base line when the coach returned. Scott stood a few feet away as the coach spoke to Michelle. “This will have to go before the school board. Since you are already here, put on a helmet and grab a bat.” While Scott returned to home plate to warm up the pitcher, Michelle put her glove in the dugout, picked up a helmet and a bat, then started toward home plate. For the first time, he could see in her expression a sense of reluctance. She stood several steps behind the batter's box, taking practice swings as the pitcher made his last three warm up pitches. The coach signaled for Scott to come to the mound for a conference with the pitcher. Their conference consisted of the coach telling them to treat her as they would treat any other player. He also suggested they throw junk on the first two pitches and see if they could strike her out. He assured them that she would swing at anything. As Scott walked back from the mound, he could see an expression of determination mixed with a suggestion of reluctance. As he got close to the plate, Scott muttered under his breath so no one but Michelle could hear him. “Don’t swing at the first pitch. Let it go by.” Scott crouched down in the catcher’s position as she approached the plate while listening to Scott as she spoke in a condescending voice. “I know how to play baseball.” Scott’s response reflected his displeasure with her tone of voice. “That’s good, but I know what he is going to throw, and you don’t. Look low and away.” She touched the end of the bat to the plate and then pulled the bat over her shoulder. Peter threw the first pitch, making it hit the dirt before it crossed the plate. She did not attempt to swing at the ball. Scott stood and threw the ball back to Peter and offered her a second piece of advice. “He will come inside next time, so watch out.” Peter threw the next ball inside, almost hitting Michelle. Much to Scott’s surprise, she made no effort to back out of the batter's box. Still in a quiet voice, he offered her one last piece of information. Scott pulled his facemask down so he would not be seen talking to her. “The next one will be down the middle, if he can throw one down the middle.” Her response this time was made with more civility. “Fastball or change up?” Scott replied, “With Peter, there’s not much difference." Scott could hear her giggle as she raised her bat. Once Peter released the ball, Scott raised his glove slightly to make the catch. He heard the crack of her bat as the ball made its way over the head of the first baseman and down the right-field line. After a series of fielding errors, Michelle had turned what should have been a single into a triple. Any remaining comments from the dugout quickly turned to silence. Several batters came up before Jeff got a hit that brought Michelle sliding in at home. As she sat in the dirt with her hand on home plate, she spoke in a soft voice. “Thank you.” That one day of tryouts was the beginning of a friendship that has lasted ever since. In many ways, it was a strange friendship. They never went out on what most people would call a date, yet they often went places together. In high school, they would take day trips to the coast, go out for pizza when neither of them had a date, and they spent a great deal of time entangled in each other’s life. It was rare when Scott would approve of whom she was dating, and she rarely had anything nice to say about the girls he dated. Neither Michelle nor Scott was involved in a long-term serious relationship during high school until Scott was a senior. It had not occurred to him until he was off at college why this might have been the case. All but one of the girls he dated apparently had a problem accepting the friendship Michelle and Scott shared. He found out recently she had the same problem. Michelle and Scott went to different colleges yet managed to talk to each other every few days. They planned their trips home in order to spend time together when they were on break. Still, time and distance had started to change their long-standing friendship in ways that were at first very subtle. They talked at least four times each week, but the conversations were shorter and at times strained. There were just too many miles between them to stay involved in each others daily life. They didn’t know the same people or share a common knowledge of places and events. By their senior year in college, Michelle had met someone and their time together became harder to arrange. After graduation from college, Michelle and Scott moved home to New Bern until they could find jobs. They had been back for only two days when Michelle called and suggested they spend the day on the beach at Cape Lookout. By 10:30 the next morning, they had taken the ferry from Harkers Island, visited the lighthouse, and were lying on the beach while talking about their long history together. For most of the morning, they were acting as if they had never been apart from each other, although she did at times appear distracted. After lunch, Scott found out why she was distracted. She was sitting on her beach towel as she pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees before she spoke. “I want to ask you something, and I want you to be very honest with me” Scott agreed and she, with great hesitation, posed her question. “Tom has asked me to marry him and I want to know what you think.” For reasons he could not explain, Scott felt as though he had been punched in the stomach by a prizefighter. He sat in total silence longer than he should have, as he watched the waves breaking on the shoreline. After far too much thought, Scott offered Michelle the best advice he could conjure up on short notice. “I think that if you are in love with him, if he makes you happy, and you are ready to settle down, then you should go for it.” Her response was also long in coming and was made with the same reluctance she was feeling. “He wants us to move to New England, and if we do, you and I won’t see much of each other any more.” Scott took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I guess that somewhere in the back of my mind, I always knew this day would come. I just didn’t expect it to come this soon.” Michelle was also watching the waves as neither of them really wanted to look at the other. Her voice was soft and reflective. “We’ve come so far together, and we held each other up through the good times and the bad times. Do you think I am ready for this?” Scott shook his head slowly, indicating he could not answer her question. “You are the only person on earth that can solve that mystery. I wish I could tell you the right thing to do, but I don’t know. What did you tell him when he proposed to you? What were you feeling?” Her hesitation in responding spoke volumes about the uncertainty she was feeling. “I told him I would marry him, and at the time I was very excited.” “Then maybe that’s the answer to your question.” Scott replied. Michelle had her doubts as she pointed out something he had not expected. “I was excited until the novelty wore off. When I was driving home from school, I began to have some serious doubts. I don’t know if I am ready to move on to that part of my life yet. I don’t know for sure that he is the right person for me.” Given the fact that Scott had never approved of anyone Michelle went out with, he saw her new boyfriend as no exception, even though Scott did not know him. Still, he chose to challenge Tom’s worthiness to marry Michelle. “Suppose Tom was a baseball catcher, and you were coming to bat. Do you think he would tip you off as to what pitch would be coming across the plate?” She turned her attention from the ocean and looked directly at him. “He is very competitive, so I don’t know if he would or not.” Scott also turned and looked at her. “If you aren’t sure, then you need to take some time to think about getting married. He has to be on your side.” Michelle knew Scott was not talking about baseball, but rather making a statement about his commitment to support her. Scott also knew he needed to be very careful with his words. She had agreed to marry Tom, and the least Scott could do was to support her choice, even if he didn’t like her decision. With some degree of forced enthusiasm, Scott raised the important question, “So when is the big day?” She continued to stare at him, as she called his bluff. “We haven’t set a date yet and stop acting like you are excited for me.” After all the years they had known each other, telling a lie was useless. “I’m sorry, but you don’t appear all that excited. Why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?” She immediately turned her attention back to the breaking waves before speaking in a soft voice. “You wouldn’t understand.” Scott continued to watch her expression while being somewhat surprised by her comment. “That’s the first time I have ever heard you say that to me.” She was clearly frustrated as she turned her attention back to him. “You are not a female, and my problem wouldn’t make sense to you.” She had not only raised his curiosity, but also made him more determined to offer some degree of self-defense. “I am not a deer either, but I am reasonably sure I don’t want to be shot.” Much to his surprise, the more he tried to help, the more frustrated she became. She stood up and took a few steps toward the ocean before she turned to face him. “Consider yourself lucky that I don’t have a gun, and that you are not a deer. She took several more steps toward the ocean before calling back to him. “Are you coming?” Scott reached in his backpack and took out the Frisbee, carrying it by his side as they walked along the edge of the water. They stood together for a few minutes before she spoke. “Scott, I don’t think I would be doing the right thing by getting married. It just doesn’t feel right when I’m with Tom.” Scott picked up a seashell and handed it to her before he spoke. “You’ve told me for the last nine months how well things were going between you and Tom. I guess you were right. I don’t understand.” It was becoming clear that Michelle was not going to explain whatever she thought he would not understand. She reached down to his hand, taking the Frisbee before calling out, “Go long." They spent the rest of the day at the beach, playing with the Frisbee, walking along the almost deserted shoreline, and talking about everything except her marriage. As Tom had gone home to New England to begin his search for a job, Michelle and Scott very quickly reverted to their familiar pattern of going places together. With most of their old friends moving away from New Bern, neither of them had much of a social life left.